Bruise
by aphelion-orion
Summary: Sephiroth loses control and tries to deal with the consequences. [pregame, shounen ai, SxC]
1. Prelude

**Title:** Moral  
**Fandom:** Final Fantasy 7  
**Pairing:** S+C  
**Rating:** PG  
**Warnings:** Shounen ai hints.  
**Disclaimer:** Not mine.  
**Note:** Inspired by **jenniyah**'s questions, here's a kinda sorta prequel drabble to "Bruise". It's a lot more lighthearted than "Bruise", because... come on, it has Zack in it. How can anything around Zack stay gloomy?

**-  
Moral  
-**

Watching them dance around each other was beyond frustrating. It was like observing a moth and its proverbial flame, although the respective roles seemed to change by the hour. One of them would hesitantly flutter close, probe carefully for the lingering heat, back off a bit, flutter closer still and then quite suddenly retreat because of an inevitable and utterly inconsequential blunder, the tips of the wings singed. Then the process would be repeated in reverse. And so it went, day in, day out.

It was driving Zack up the wall.

When confronted with these observations, Sephiroth willed himself not to take offense to being compared to a delicate invertebrate animal. Then he took a moment to inform Zack that if they were so maddening to watch, he should just look elsewhere to preserve his sanity. Instead of rising to the bait like he had expected him to, Zack crowed in delight and said that Sephiroth hadn't even bothered with something along the lines of "it's all just in your head", so it must be something serious.

Sephiroth had replied that no matter the presence or absence of any feelings on his, or god forbid, both their parts, he would stick to the regulations and keep his relationship with Cloud Strife an entirely honorable one.

Zack had slapped his palm into his face. "I'm not saying you have to fuck him, Seph!"

"I would appreciate it if you wouldn't use that term," Sephiroth said with slight disdain coloring his voice.

Zack rolled his eyes. "Fine. You don't have to sleep with him. At least not right away, anyway. But I think you should permit yourself to live a little."

"And what would you have me do? Take him to the movies?" Sephiroth sneered, his entire posture suggesting that if Zack valued his jaws in working condition, they would discontinue this conversation.

"Gee, I don't know, how about a kiss first?" Zack replied, part sarcasm, part earnest suggestion, because with Sephiroth, it never hurt to make sure that he knew the proper code of conduct for situations involving "feelings".

"I am not going to kiss Cloud Strife. So you can stop thinking about opening another betting pool," Sephiroth replied stonily, clearly signaling the end of the conversation. Zack snickered, but did not say anything further.

Two weeks later, Sephiroth made a liar out of himself.

----  
**A/N:** Like? Hate? I'm kind of afraid to find out. --"""


	2. Chapter 1

**Title:** Bruise  
**Fandom:** FF7  
**Pairing:** SxC  
**Rating:** PG  
**Warnings:** Shounen ai. If that's not your cup of tea, here's your chance to leave.  
**Disclaimer:** Squeenix I not be.

-

**Bruise**

**-**

In retrospect, Sephiroth supposed, he should have known it would come to this. He should have known that the implications of starting a relationship with a mere cadet would be more complicated and more dangerous than the threat of any official reprimand, should they be found out. He should have known that his mindfulness of the boy's age wouldn't last. He should have known keeping their encounters chaste wouldn't work.

Cloud released a soft gasp as Sephiroth carefully pushed the shirt from his shoulder, revealing a hideous purple bruise that was spreading fast, a paler bluish tint along the edges, darkening towards the center. The boy stiffened as he gently probed the injury with his fingers, trying to assess the extent of the damage. He looked up into Cloud's face, seeing him grit his teeth and screw his eyes shut, and withdrew his hand.

"Wait a moment," he instructed, got up from the sofa and left the room.

Sephiroth knew that he ought to take the boy to the infirmary, where he would be properly examined and treated, where they would be able to give him something to ease the pain, but he was also aware that it would raise questions, were the General to show up with an injured cadet, and there was always someone who could not keep their mouth shut. The rumor mill was cruel and unforgiving; he was not afraid of the damage it could do to his reputation - half the military thought him a monster anyway, so why not add corruption of a minor to the list of things that they were saying about him, and really, who would they replace him with if demands to strip him of his rank arose? - but he knew Cloud would bear the brunt of it should their relationship come to the light. Sephiroth could easily imagine the whispers that would follow him everywhere, the sneers and jealousy, the contempt from his peers and superiors alike. That was to say, if the higher-ups did not find some way to blame the entire affair on Cloud first, saying that he seduced the illustrious General to gain favors of some kind, and kicked him out of the SOLDIER program, perhaps even the entire military, to save face.

So Sephiroth took Masamune from the rack and returned to the living area, where Cloud hadn't moved an inch.

The yellow glow of the scan spell thankfully revealed no fractures, which meant he could use a cure without worrying about broken bones knitting themselves together in the wrong way. Unfortunately, he didn't keep anything in the way of medical supplies in his own apartment, nothing except a salve to soothe the burn of Mako treatments, but it would have to suffice.

To his surprise, though, Cloud refused the proffered jar, looking at him with a stern, eerily observant expression that suggested he knew exactly that Sephiroth was trying to put distance between them and wouldn't allow it.

Usually, Sephiroth liked those glimpses of fight in the blond, but right now he would have preferred to keep his hands to himself to prevent them from causing more pain.

"Uhn!" Cloud said when the cold substance touched his warm skin.

Sephiroth hummed an apology and began to spread the salve as gently as he could, without applying unnecessary pressure. The bruise had stopped expanding, at least, something for which he was grateful. He should have known better than to indulge his desires and attempt a relationship with a boy nine years his junior, who did not have the protection Mako enhancement offered him, a boy who - with his fine features and delicate build - may as well have been a porcelain doll in the hands of a careless child.

And as much as Sephiroth hated to admit it, he had been both childish and careless. Childish to disregard the reality of his existence, and careless in exposing Cloud to this childishness. It was nothing short of a miracle that nothing had happened until now, with Sephiroth's ignorance and the cadet's boundless, misguided trust. What if, instead of squeezing Cloud's shoulder in a passionate moment, he had crushed his ribcage with a rough embrace, or snapped his spine with a strong shove?

The thought made him feel vaguely ill.

Of course, the safest and most logical solution would be to simply end things between them and go back to keeping his distance, except if things were that simple, they wouldn't have come to this point. It wasn't like he hadn't tried to contain his attraction before, by telling himself it was the moral thing to do - he was Cloud's commanding officer, after all, and the boy was very much underage - which had led to him kissing the blond a scant two weeks after this resolution, and only growing bolder ever since then.

Cloud's quiet "thank you" pulled him from his musings, and Sephiroth realized he must have stopped spreading the ointment a little while ago and was instead gazing at the contrast of his own pale hand against the vivid, angry purple of the bruise. He knew he should apologize, but he also knew that Cloud would not accept it, as foolishly trusting as he was. He clamped down on the irrational surge of anger. Getting angry at Cloud would not only serve no purpose, it would also be unfair.

Instead, he kissed the boy's temple once, twice, and murmured, "You should head back. I'll tell Zack to go easy on you tomorrow."

For a moment, Cloud looked like he wanted to object, then nodded and stood, allowing Sephiroth to show him to the door. He reached for the doorknob, faltered and turned back around, grabbing Sephiroth's ungloved hand. He bit his lip and something seemed to shift behind the blue of his eyes, making the eerie transition from hesitance to steel.

He covered Sephiroth's hand with both of his smaller ones and laid a quick kiss to his knuckles. "If I tell you that you shouldn't beat yourself up over it, you won't listen to me, will you." It was not a question. "So, just promise not to beat yourself up over it too much, okay?"

Before Sephiroth could find a suitable reply, Cloud had slipped out the door.

Sighing, the silver-haired man turned back to the empty living room, his gaze falling to the open jar of ointment still sitting on the sofa's armrest. Severing their ties would be so much easier if his feelings had been based on nothing but sexual attraction. Whatever his feelings, though, they were the first good thing to enter his heart in a long, long time, something he selfishly wanted to keep. However, if he did not want to accidentally kill Cloud in a moment of pleasurable abandonment, he would have to come up with a plan.

----

**TBC?**

**A/N:** A long time ago, I thought I was going somewhere with this. Now, I'm not so sure. I'll leave it unchanged for a while, until inspiration strikes again and I figure out what exactly this thing has to offer. Please don't beat me for it? (looks hopeful)

C&C makes you my favorite readers in the whole world. :-)


	3. Chapter 2

**Chapter:** 2/?  
**Rating:** G  
**Warnings:** If the thought of Sephiroth and Cloud being in a relationship makes you get the wrong kind of feeling in your stomach, why are you looking at the second chapter?  
**Disclaimer:** I still don't own FF7. Dangit.

**- **

**Bruise**  
_Chapter 2_

_- _

It had been two weeks. Two weeks since... the incident. Two weeks since he and Sephiroth had last spoken. Cloud heaved a loud sigh and collapsed over his books, burying his head in his arms.

They had never gone for so long without seeing each other when Sephiroth was on-base. No matter how busy things became, he had always found a few minutes in between doors and files and meetings for them to at least exchange a few words. If he hadn't known better, he would have thought that Sephiroth was doing some heavy-duty Cloud-avoidance. Actually, scratch that. He _didn't_ know better. Sephiroth _was_ doing some heavy-duty Cloud-avoidance.

And knowing this made the tangled mass of thoughts and feelings so much more than a childishly petulant case of "I miss my lover". Because he would bet good money on it that Sephiroth hadn't taken his parting words to heart, and was indeed beating himself up over it. How much, was anyone's guess, but since it had been two weeks, and Sephiroth never knew how to do things in moderation...

Cloud sighed and rubbed his cheek against the cool page of his textbook, hearing the paper rustle and bend.

He really wished he knew how to talk to Sephiroth. Somehow, he never seemed to find quite the right words, quite the best thing to say, when things went wrong between them. Zack had that gift. Zack could talk to people and make them see his point, make them listen to reason. Zack could patch up strained relationships like he was born for it, and no issue stayed buried for long when he was around.

Zack's utter... Zack-ness made people comfortable with him, made him seem trustworthy and reliable. He simply barreled you over with his endless enthusiasm and enveloped them in it, until you couldn't help but feel that everything would be all right, and really, what had been so terribly wrong in the first place?

Cloud knew that he lacked this, lacked that warm friendliness and confidence that made Zack stride up to people and say, "C'mon, spill," and people do just that. He could barely even picture himself taking the lift up to the 56th floor, marching down the corridors and flinging open the doors to Sephiroth's office, stating, "You've got a problem. Let's talk about it."

It wasn't that he hadn't tried, either. But somewhere in between floors 32 and 44, his courage had left him, if only because he could imagine exactly what would happen if he actually tried this, could virtually feel Sephiroth's disappointment as if it were his own - _you don't respect my need for space, you don't understand_ - or worse, would see the answer swimming in those green eyes - _I can't. I don't know. I won't_ - because Sephiroth was used to doing things alone, and no matter how much he, Cloud, tried, even if he found the courage, there were still too many things missing, too many gaps and flaws that didn't make him Zack, so Sephiroth would never feel comfortable confiding in him.

It was almost too depressing to think about.

Yet the prospect of Sephiroth thinking things to death all by himself, trying to come up with an all-encompassing, all-beneficial solution in his painfully logical mind, the thought that Sephiroth felt he was in this _alone_, hurt more than anything else.

Subconsciously, Cloud's hand drifted towards his shoulder, the cause for so many complications.

The bruise, of course, had long since healed, thanks to Sephiroth's prompt treatment, but he had no doubt that Sephiroth could still recall it in all its violent glory. It was so strange, Cloud thought, to have someone treat him like he was made of glass. He had never been on the receiving end of such care before - even Zack, for all his kindness, still liked to roughhouse with him - he had never really considered himself worth that much. He could only make guesses as to what drove Sephiroth to behave like this - so carefully, so unnaturally gently; Zack had told him that Sephiroth was different from normal SOLDIERs, as if Cloud had not suspected that already, but little beyond that. He had heard stories of Sephiroth's unbelievably strength and prowess, but never knew how much of them was truth and how much was, well, story.

However, he did know that whatever Sephiroth was, those hands that treated him so gently could just as easily rend his very soul from his body. He recognized physical strength when he saw it, would have had to be a complete fool not to be aware of Sephiroth's strength, but he was sure he could not be afraid of Sephiroth even if he tried. Not since the man had first kissed him so gently, leaving him all the time in the world to back away or respond, not since he had experienced firsthand how hard Sephiroth worked to make him comfortable. Cloud had known people who would abuse their strength, and knew that Sephiroth was not one of them.

Really, Sephiroth was the only one who let such a setback bother him, but explaining his reasons to the man was next to impossible.

A small squeaking noise pulled him from his musings, the sound of the door opening and closing. He did not really feel like getting up and greeting his visitor, though. It was probably just Zack, anyway, trying to drag him out to do something he deemed constructive.

A shadow, and then Zack was indeed bending over him in an exaggerated move, trying to peer at his face. "Cloud?" he asked, a bit puzzled. "Sephiroth… are you two fighting or something?"

The blunt question hit a little bit too close to home, and Cloud sat up straight, forcing Zack to take a step back or receive a faceful of blond spikes. "What makes you think so?"

"Well, Seph's only been impossible to live with for the past week or so," Zack sighed, rolling his eyes. "Can't think of anything else that would get him so pissy."

_Sephiroth is in a bad mood and you automatically think it's my fault?_ Cloud wanted to say, but didn't. It wasn't like it _wasn't_ his fault. Still, his face must have betrayed him, because Zack lifted his hands in a pacifying gesture, and his smile was gentle instead of teasing. "Whoa, sorry. Open mouth, insert foot, that's me. I meant… I don't think if it were anything else, that it would bother him so much. I think you're the only one who's really able to get to him, these days."

Biting his lip, Cloud managed to suppress a bout of involuntary chuckles. The idea that General Sephiroth, the man who was never anything less than calm, cool, and in absolute control over anything and everything in his vicinity, should have nothing but a good-for-nothing little grunt as his weakness, seemed more than a little laughable. "Me? I don't think so, Zack. You're…"

"I'm the guy who comes to bug him twice a day and bring him coffee. If I get under his skin, I'm made into a moving target, and once he gets me to make a really embarrassing noise, we're good. You're the guy who makes him mope and brood and sigh like a girl. I know this because I came down here and found _you_ moping and brooding and sighing like a girl. So don't try to deny it."

"I did not sigh like a girl," Cloud said to avoid giving due credit. The thought that what Zack was saying was true felt more than a little strange, almost uncomfortable.

"No," Zack grinned. "But I bet if I hadn't come here you would've started. And you still haven't answered my question. Did you two have a fight? Because, you know," he continued, an exasperated edge coloring his voice, "he tells me _nothing_."

Rubbing his hands against his thighs, Cloud sighed. He didn't want to reveal the entire story if Sephiroth was keeping quiet, and it seemed like a personal thing, anyway, but Zack knew Sephiroth best. He would be able to make him listen to reason. "Not… fighting," he said reluctantly. "Sephiroth is just… being difficult because he thinks he has done something wrong."

Zack blinked. "Oh? What--?"

"My shoulder."

"Oh. That was him?" Cloud nodded. "Ouchies. Congrats on your first SOLDIER-induced injury, Spike."

"Zack…"

"Yeah, yeah. Stop it, I know. But if that's what's got him so worked up, don't expect him to return to normal anytime soon. I still remember when he accidentally broke my wrist. Wouldn't touch me for _weeks_."

"What did you do?" Cloud asked, unveiled curiosity in his voice.

"Said he should let me hit him, if he wanted us to be even so badly. Then I nearly fell out of my chair when he agreed." Zack's grin turned rueful. "But man, oh man… I can just imagine what's going through his head now. 'Specially since you're his delicate little flower and all."

Cloud scowled and reached out to yank Zack's hair. "I'm not a flower, you moron."

"Heh, out of the two of you, I bet you're the only one who thinks so."

Still frowning, Cloud dropped his hand. Zack was right, of course, no matter how much he hated to think of himself as delicate, in a SOLDIER's, or in Sephiroth's eyes, he probably was. He knew his looks didn't help the matter in the least, fine bones and fair skin lending him the appearance of a porcelain doll. "I wish he wouldn't. It's bad enough that he views me as a kid."

"You know," Zack said, thoughtfully, "I don't think he does, really. Sure, you're this cute, fluffy little thing, but Seph wouldn't bother with you if he truly thought of you as a child."

"But he doesn't listen to me!" Cloud exploded, all too aware of how childish and frustrated he sounded.

The dark-haired man snickered. "He's _Sephiroth_. You honestly think he listens to anybody? Haha! That's rich."

"He listens to _you_."

"Nah, not really. He just goes along with whatever I say because it's the only way to shut me up, and then somewhere along the way, he usually realizes it's not all that bad."

"But…"

"No buts," Zack said, wagging his finger under Cloud's nose. "You know what the problem is? You both act like two butterflies engaged in a mating dance. As soon as you touch, you back off."

Cloud stared.

"What, I'm serious! I've got you all figured out. You never get around to being honest with each other because you think the other's going to be hurt." His tone shifted, growing more serious and quiet. "I'm not sure what happened to you. Either of you. And I won't ask. But sometimes… Cloud, sometimes, words are the only way to say what needs to be said. Sure, they may hurt, and there might be a fight, but I've never seen a couple that manages without them. You should have seen some of the spats between Aeris and me. But the point is… we don't let that bother us. We work around it. And that's what you've got to learn, too. To work around it."

Listening intently, Cloud nodded. Whenever Zack became serious, he usually had good advice to offer. And it made sense, didn't it? If neither of them ever said anything, small things like this would be allowed to grow into huge problems.

"Ah, enough spouting sap for today," Zack said, stretching his arms. "C'mon, Spike. It's time to go up there and give our dear General a good, stern talking-to." And with that, he grabbed Cloud's arm, hauled him out of the chair and dragged him towards the door.

Cloud couldn't help but smile. Zack really did know just what to say. "Zack… thanks."

The dark-haired SOLDIER scratched the back of his head, grinning embarrassedly. "Don't mention it. If I have to see you two pining for each other for much longer, I'll go nuts."

They were already out of the room and halfway down the corridor when Cloud realized something. "Sephiroth. A butterfly."

"Err…"

Cloud didn't bother to hide his grin. "I'm so going to use that as blackmail."

"Wha--? Hey!"

--------

**A/N:** I just realized Zack has got butterflies on the brain. Ah well.

Anyways, hurray for filler chapter, but I wanted more Zack-ness. And I also really wanted to portray Cloud's side, as well. I like to imagine that he doesn't come off as a helpless uke, and more as a teenager who is sensitive to certain issues, and who is trying very hard not to let his self-doubt get in the way of things. Then again, I also like to imagine that I'll take over the world one day, so maybe it's all just in my head.

Regardless, C&C of any kind makes me happy, so fire away.


End file.
